Bundles & Bunches

hope

Dear Little One by Hannah Davis (West Stanton Store)

Finding outAmanda Neill1 Comment

Oh baby boy, my wonderful little rainbow. You came at a time when daddy and I needed you. 

 

I remember finding out, thinking there is no way I could be pregnant again so quickly. I remember your dad had just booked tickets to go to the US where he was going to be for 3 weeks. He was nervous, I pretended I wasn't. I counted down the days till he came back, hoping you stayed in my tummy and kept going.

 

You were born, I remember feeling so empowered and amazed that I managed it. I was so certain you were a poop, even when you lay beneath me (me still on my hands and knees totally in shock) and peed in my face, I was still certain you were a poop. Hormones make me do/say/feel weird things.  We called you Biggy when you were a baby because you were so small and it was so funny because Daddy is so big.

 

I've loved you more and more every day since then. I love everything about you, how funny you think you are, how you communicate without saying anything, how you clap and look around to make sure everyone claps along. You're smile is contagious and I cant believe how proud I am of you. 

 

You make me the best version of myself Biggy.

 

xxx

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Dear Little One by Jess Barrett (DEFINEADREAM)

Finding outAmanda NeillComment

Gosh you made me feel sick when you were growing in my belly!

Your dad and I were away on a much needed holiday after a tough few weeks, we had recently lost your sibling and needed time away from reality. We stayed in a cute little cottage on a farm in the middle of nowhere.

We had to drive EVERYWHERE - windy country roads which I normally love made me feel incredibly sick. I was confused, I have never had car sickness before and soon my mind began to wonder to whether you were there. 

Mid-way through our holiday I just had to find out. I snuck a pregnancy test into our shopping basket which your dad only noticed when paying for it - we got back to the cottage and I ran to the toilet. I was full of hope that you would be there but also scared in case you weren’t. Immediately the blue lines showed - my heart skipped a beat but I calmed myself down and waited the advised two minutes. The slowest 2 minutes passed and your dad went over and confirmed that we were indeed pregnant and you were about to invade our lives! We sat and we prayed protection over you and more faith over us.

Judah Wild, you have given me purpose. I feel like I’m doing what I was created to do from the moment you were born. I am proud of you daily, watching you learn little things (like sucking your thumb) fills me with pride. Your cries break my heart, but I will always be here to try and fix it for you, to hold you when you need to be held and guide you when you need guiding. You have made me the best version of me and I will love you forever..

 

Mama x

Jess and 2 week old Judah

Jess and 2 week old Judah